Rumors, Lies, Betrayal and Death

A couple of weeks ago, one of my nurses came to me to tell me about some rumors going around about her and another nurse. She denied them. I believed her. I recommended whatever behavior that was causing the rumors needs to be pulled back.

This week, one of the 3-11 team leaders (house supervisor) came to me about the rumors. I told her of my previous conversation and of my believing the nurse.

This morning I received an email from the nurse's husband saying she had admitted everything to him. He named the other nurse. He said it happened while they were at work. He, also, sent the same email to the CEO of our region.

I talked with my immediate supervisor. He made appropriate emails to give the Chief Nursing Officer and Regional Clinical Officer a heads up.

I went into work around noon. I had some stuff I wanted to get done. I then find out they had been trying to reach me. The nurse's husband had killed himself sometime after he sent me the email.

I am devastated. For her, her young children, for all my staff. And, for me. Should I have done something different? Should I have not been so gullible and not believed her? Made (not that I could have) her go to EAP? Should I have called this morning when I received the email? Should I have responded to the email?

I know it is not my fault. I know I could not have changed things. But, I feel so bad.

Now, I need to be there for her and my other nurse. Offer them support. They were adults. They made a choice. Now we all will live with the consequences especially the children.

I know how he felt. When my husband left, I wanted to die. I don't know how I lived through it. Every time (all the time) I thought that way, I didn't do anything because of my boys. I couldn't do that to them. How could he do it to his?